Before I post the update for the angel wall I feel led to say something.
Our Angel Wall is growing. It is taking shape before my eyes, week by week. I often wonder if people grapple with the decision to send me their memories, their gorgeous pictures of angel children or if sharing them is easy, a way to affirm their existance and be recognized by others.
This week I offered to put one mother's lost daughter on the wall, followed by "I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby". This is the response I received. "Thank you.. yes I would.
Her name is Courtney, she didn't die as a baby. She was born on Feb 13, 1984 and died Sept 14, 2000, at age 16."
Her name is Courtney, she didn't die as a baby. She was born on Feb 13, 1984 and died Sept 14, 2000, at age 16."
I have to admit I was stunned by my own unrecognizable bias. I just assumed her loss was a baby and I must apologize. My grief blog makes it clear that ALL losses are considered equally devestating - regardless. The opening says, "This is a place for anyone who has felt the loss of a child. Treat this as a communication haven regardless of how or when you felt your loss. My definition of loss: miscarriage at any stage, still birth regardless of week gestation, infant death at any month, and loss of a child even if your child was all grown up. For me they all hold the same root of devestation. None are more profound or more "easily" dealt with than another."
So I can see why you might have thought this wall was only for baby losses. It was my own blinders that led me to write, "I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet baby". But I also wrote, "even if your child was all grown up." And the latter is what I meant.
To be clear - this wall is open to your losses, any and all, whether you have 5 weeks of pregnancy memories or 25 years of life memories with your child.
******
And Now - The Angel Wall
Remembered Always - In Loving Memory
Addison Eva - b/d April 3rd, 2008
Siblings for Life - Regardless of space and time
Kehlie - b/d January 3rd, 1972
Patrick Zachariah - b/d December 29th, 1979
Tristan - b/d September 1st, 1984
Trinity - August 30th, 1985
Courtney - born: February 13th, 1984 - died: September 14th, 2000
3 comments:
Thank you for adding my babies, even my grown up baby. It means a lot to me.
Cindi
My heart broke as I read this. The memories we will never have are the memories which she does have. I am so sorry that her "baby" is no longer with her. The memories that she will never have tear my heart to shreds. Big hugs to Courtney's Mom.
Thank you, Amy. We miss Courtney more than words can say. But we miss the other four almost as much. I never had the chance to see or hold those babies and my arms still ache for that, even after 30 years.
Blessings, Cindi
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