Nearly To The Ceiling

The Angel Wall, that is. It nearly touches my office ceiling. I both love and hate to see it grow, much as I simultaneously celebrate and cringe when our support group gets bigger every month.

I love bringing a sense of connectedness to all the babylost parents out there. I hate that babies keep dying.

With this post, you will notice a new opportunity on the sidebar. Our Memory Bands are here. They are the kick off fundraiser for Share Southern Vermont. They say SHARE (our logo) Forever In Our Hearts.

They are a perfect token for yourself, your families and friends who want to remember and keep your babies close without always having to put it into words. For all those who remember - Please pass the word and the link.

And now, October's Angel Wall.

~We Remember Always~



Collin Michael

b /d August 9th, 2008

Willem "Will" Bernard

Fought Hard, Left This World on February 6th, 2009

Carleigh McKennah
b/d March 28th, 2009




Vianne Elvylena McLaughlin

born into the world ~ January 29th, 2009

flew from it ~ May 7th, 2009

Sisters: Olivia Louise and Elizabeth Claire

AND

Siblings...

Tred Paul ~ b/d June 5th, 2008

and

Tayla Rose ~ b/d April 10th, 2009

As always, please take a minute to hold each one of these babies, and their parents, in your hearts.

Angel Wall - Straight to the Heart

As I wrote to the parents of the gorgeous babies I'm posting today, I find that by waiting until I have four or more babies to add to the wall, each group takes on a collective life of their own. I am extremely conscious of that with these five beautiful souls, not only because I am in the midst of my grief season, but for the sheer beauty of each babe and their story.

~With Love - We Remember~

Peyton Elizabeth - Entered this world on September 4th, Departed it on October 2nd 2008

Wyatt Nathaniel Finchum - born too soon, June 1st, 2009


Siblings: Kaiden Scott and Kennedy Grace - Born too soon January 9th, 2008

Vivienne Esme

Blessed this world for nine beautiful months. Taken on February 17th, 2009

Siblings

The wall has alot of spirits on it. Each name was read at Share Southern Vermont's first annual Walk for Hope and Remembrance. (click over to see the slideshow)You can actually hear the different emotion inflected through my voice when I spoke the name of babies I know so well through their parents.

But the most heartbreaking word I had to speak that day was 'brothers' or 'sisters' or 'siblings'. The double, triple, or quadrouple loss they represented for those parents nearly broke me all over.


Today, our wall is updated with a set of gorgeous twin boys and a set of born-too-soon quads. Please take an extra minute so these parents know you remember all their children.

We Remember...

Brothers: Parker Lee Lewis and Gavin David Lewis

Born too soon on April 4th, 2009

Siblings: "The Green Beans" - Lillian Nicole Green, Heidi Michelle Green, Rylan Otto Green, and Paige Elise Green

Born too soon on January 31st and February 23rd, 2009

WEEK 10 - WITH WALK DETAILS

Before I update the Angel Wall, I want to take a brief moment to invite all parents of angel babies to send me their children's names / dates to be read at the First Annual Walk for Hope and Remembrance, hosted by Share Southern Vermont, Inc., this Saturday - May 9th.

PLEASE - WRITE OUT NAMES IN BOTH ACUTAL AND PHONETIC SPELLING SO WE PRONOUNCE YOUR BABY'S NAME CORRECTLY!

Names / dates / pronunciations can be emailed to Cara at sharesouthernvermont@gmail.com

*

And Now - The Angel Wall...

Once again - I apologize to the mother's of these sweet boys for the delay in posting their beautiful images to the site.

Today, We Remember - In loving memory

Johnny Giovanni - Born Sleeping on March 14th, 2009

Brothers: Logan Ryan & Brody McRae

Entered this world...and left peacefully on January 31st, 2009

Calypso Paikea Rhyder

Born Into The World On June 14th, 2007

Left This World On July 7th, 2007

UPDATE AND MEMORY WALK

I apologize for the delay in putting up the sweet angels you have sent me in the last few weeks. I plan to get to it today... so watch for the update.

Also - If your angel baby is on the Angel Wall I am going to read their name at our Walk for Hope and Rememberance. If you would rather I don't, please email me and I will take his or her name off the list.

I think of them every day and Saturday will be no different - just sharing their sweet names with a group of people gathered to remember.

As Always...

In Grief, Love and Hope

Cara

Week 9 - Update

My office is becoming more inspirational by the week. Many of you wrote to me about my "strength" and "bravery" when sending your sweet baby's photos. By sharing your stories and images with me, you give me that. Usually, when I click on the gallery box to view your baby - I find myself smiling with that bittersweet taste of love for your sweet one and rage at the injustice of the world. Why must babies continue to die?


But, I must confess that I have my moments when the sight of your angels brings me to a new bout of tears - a fresh well I thought had run dry.


This week, it happened twice - induded by their dates. I realized just how entwined your children become with my life as I read that Ty entered and left this world on my third daughter's birthday. My breath caught, tears welled - then the smile. And then, I saw sweet Tessa who was born on that same day and died only 11 days later, on my second child's birthday.


It was too much. I allowed the tears to fall. Tears that said, How could we have been celebrating another year of Bear's or The Comedian's lives while these parents were sitting in shock - in a living hell - somewere else in the country?



I know it happens everyday. I mourn that reality. But it leaves me even more grateful that you are willing to share your children with me - for never again will I take those days for granted, celebrate just for the sake of birthday cake - without memory of your children causing that bittersweet smile in my heart.


And now - The Angel Wall - (as always, please take a moment with each name and date to remember both the baby and the parents who miss them)



WE REMEMBER WITH LOVE:

Lukas John - Left this world on January 30th, 2009.

Ty Gary - b/d January 26th, 2009

Owen Anil - b/d January 31st, 2009

Baby O - March 14th, 2008

Austin Nicholas Barthen - Born: 2/26/81 Died: 9/16/05

Tessa Marie - Born: January 26th, 2009 ~ Died: February 6th, 2009

Week 8 - Angel Wall Update

The angel wall is growing. It is the most beautiful complilation of souls I have ever seen. Thank you for sharing your children. My breath catches at the beauty of each name and picture I receive.

Many of the parents remembering children in this update are in their first year of grieving or have just remembered their baby on their angelversary.

Please take a moment to remember...

Leyton Harry - b/d July 17th, 2000

Birdie Amiina - b/d March 3rd, 2007

and

Devin Alin - b/d March 6th, 2008

Justin Edward Porter - b/d May 8th, 2008

Logan David - b/d January 24th, 2009

Nicholas Warren Reeves - b/d November 7th, 2008

WEEK SEVEN

Before I post the update for the angel wall I feel led to say something.

Our Angel Wall is growing. It is taking shape before my eyes, week by week. I often wonder if people grapple with the decision to send me their memories, their gorgeous pictures of angel children or if sharing them is easy, a way to affirm their existance and be recognized by others.

This week I offered to put one mother's lost daughter on the wall, followed by "I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby". This is the response I received. "Thank you.. yes I would.
Her name is Courtney, she didn't die as a baby. She was born on Feb 13, 1984 and died Sept 14, 2000, at age 16."

I have to admit I was stunned by my own unrecognizable bias. I just assumed her loss was a baby and I must apologize. My grief blog makes it clear that ALL losses are considered equally devestating - regardless. The opening says, "This is a place for anyone who has felt the loss of a child. Treat this as a communication haven regardless of how or when you felt your loss. My definition of loss: miscarriage at any stage, still birth regardless of week gestation, infant death at any month, and loss of a child even if your child was all grown up. For me they all hold the same root of devestation. None are more profound or more "easily" dealt with than another."

So I can see why you might have thought this wall was only for baby losses. It was my own blinders that led me to write, "I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet baby". But I also wrote, "even if your child was all grown up." And the latter is what I meant.

To be clear - this wall is open to your losses, any and all, whether you have 5 weeks of pregnancy memories or 25 years of life memories with your child.

******

And Now - The Angel Wall

Remembered Always - In Loving Memory

Addison Eva - b/d April 3rd, 2008

Siblings for Life - Regardless of space and time
Kehlie - b/d January 3rd, 1972
Patrick Zachariah - b/d December 29th, 1979
Tristan - b/d September 1st, 1984
Trinity - August 30th, 1985
Courtney - born: February 13th, 1984 - died: September 14th, 2000

Week Six*

As A Community We Remember Always:

Samuel Marc, B/D August 8th, 2008

Baby A, October 16th, 1998

Baby M, December 10th, 2001

Baby S, January 14th, 2006

Thomas Craig and Dilana Harmony: Twins - Siblings - Forever - December 26th, 2008